Relationship Advice from a Quality Guy

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, we thought of no one better to talk about relationships other than our very own Quality Assurance Technician, Zach Shepherd. He sets the bar higher in relationship goals than any Jo Mo Marriage therapist off the street. Seriously, this guy knows more about relationships than app/online dating expert Dr. Jess or even world renowned “Love Doctor” Dr. Terri Orbuch herself. 


If you could choose to spend time with a chicken hawk or a beakless duck, which would you choose and why? 

This is fully dependent upon which one takes less time to fully cook. Seriously. Which one tends to stay juicy and can feed a family of four? 


What takeaways from following company Quality Control procedures can someone implement in their personal relationship with a spouse/loved one/etc? 

Quality Control is based on a series of unyielding standards. I would say that a good rule of thumb to start with is to ensure that John Walsh from America’s Most Wanted has never uttered the name of the other half of your relationship in a broadcast. Right? I mean, who wants to start an association by harboring a fugitive? Probably shouldn’t skimp on criminality.  


What have you learned in your relationship to help others have the best quality control in theirs? 

What I have learned regarding relationships I learned, not in a relationship, but rather from the late, great thespian Patrick Swayze. “Be nice…” is what he said in his Academy shunned, moving and thought-provoking portrayal as a bouncer in Roadhouse. That’s the answer to just about everything. Be nice. Thank you, Pat and I speak on behalf of this nation when I say that you are truly missed. Oh! Also, “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.” That one seems to work too.  


How does accountability in your workplace convert to accountability in a relationship? 

This is not really a great thing to fully embrace in a bear hug. There has to be some degree of flexibility in a relationship. Applying the same rigid guidelines in a relationship that you do within a Quality Department does little more than guarantee a slow demise of the coupling. Compromise is not a dirty word. Employ it. Now, at work we simply do not skimp, compromise or negotiate on quality. Bottom line, end of story.  


What does good quality control produce in a relationship? 

Hopefully, dinner. I have to start eating breakfast, man. My responses are beginning to show a clear bias towards a meal. 


What is one thing you do that annoys your spouse and how could good quality control help lighten the situation?  

Everything I do annoys my spouse. Seriously, everything. Had she been more selective she could have avoided this. Her lack of ‘…good quality control…’ is a victory for me. Too late now. Lemon law grace period no longer applies. No takesies-backsies! 


Is there anything you’d like to add about Quality Control or Quality Relationships/Love? 

The two are similar only in the loosest of interpretations. Quality/expectations at home have to be more malleable than the standard set when producing a product. Unyielding is not the approach one needs to take with a significant other. I promise that will get you nowhere. However, at work, I am not interested in brokering a deal when it comes to previously established criteria. 

Zach Shepherd
Stratum Nutrition Quality Assurance Technician
Zach conducts inspections of production areas and verify compliance with internal food safety and food defense policies.